What is your legacy?

I have been thinking over the last month or so about this question. What will be my legacy? How will I be defined as a person?

Will I be known as the daughter, the sister, the wife, the aunt, the mother, or the friend?

Will I be known for my previous career or the one I am currently in?

We each have so many roles and wear so many different hats in life.

Which one will define you?

Does it have to be one? or are we free to choose?

I try very hard to be a good person. I am not perfect. I have many flaws and imperfections but I try. Lately, I keep asking myself if I am giving back enough.

Are you a giver?

Are you a taker?

I find that right now I am neither giver nor taker. Kind of stuck in the middle. Looking for some way to contribute but not yet finding that some way. It really bothers me yet I find myself reluctant to part with whatever free time I have. Am I being selfish?

I think that as I get closer to referral I question myself more because I really want to be the best parent I can be. I want to be a role model that is "real". I often wonder if I take the middle of the fence stance too often. I have always felt that it is unfair to take sides. I wonder if my past experiences have filled with me with so much empathy that I give people way too many second chances.

I have lived by the motto "Make a decision and stand by it" for so many years but lately I have been indecisive in matters that require decisiveness. I know the wait has had an impact on my ability to make decisions but should I really let the wait dictate my decisions?

Am I getting soft where it counts and hard where it doesn't?

Where was I? Off on another tangent I suppose.

I guess what it boils down to is I want to give back. I want to work harder on being that better person so that I will be the parent I strive to be. I want to be that decisive not afraid to make a decision gal again. The first step is finding that some way.

I guess I have some work to do...