Reflections on China

I wondered when I would be able to get my thoughts down in a blog post. Mommyhood is very time consuming and since I have little time and so much to do I thought I would try and get a few thoughts down.

When we first arrived in China I was definitely overwhelmed, excited, and yes a bit anxious. Would I be a good parent? Would Annie like me? Go to me? Attach to me? Would she be healthy? Not necessarily in the same order but I’m sure you know what I mean.

The morning we left for Nanchang I felt a surge of emotion. I could not believe that it was really going to happen. We were getting our baby girl for real.

After holding her in my arms, I still could not believe she was ours.

I remember reading that it was okay if you did not fall in love with your daughter right away. That sometimes you as a parent needed the time to transition just like your child.

I fell in love the moment she looked into my eyes. All that innocence, questioning, wondering, staring back at me, melted me. I wanted to make everything better, to protect her, make life easy, less scary for her but knew that it would be Annie who would make the rules, I would just follow them.

I have heard many people say she is lucky to have you and they have it all wrong. I am lucky to have her, in my life, a part of my family, forever.

Mike & I are truly complete because China allowed us to complete our family. For that I am truly grateful. We met so many amazing, inspiring, caring, and wonderful people while we were there. It is an interesting country with strong cultural ties present everywhere you go. But to get the true essence of China you really need to go there. You can not read it in a book, see it on television. You have to live it and we definitely did.

Everyday we learned something new we never knew before. For example, in more rural areas families survive on less than $2,000 dollars a year. Life is simple and uncomplicated to a certain extent and family is everything. There are so many people n China that in some areas mopeds, bikes, and motorcycles are banned. Most homes average 500 square feet. It is a dream for many to live in separate households for as much as Chinese people love their family there is something to be said for having your own personal space to call home. There is not a lot of space but what space there is is used efficiently. If is not uncommon to walk thru a park and see families exercising, older folks meditating, families paddleboating, and young people playing or working out on playground equipment.

History is present in so many ways and we enjoyed soaking as much of it up as possible. You can’t walk far without walking into it. There is also something special about receiving a Buddhist blessing.

To be blessed and to feel it.

It was a great feeling to watch as family after family became complete, fuller, with the addition of their beautiful children. To watch frowns turn into smiles, shoves into hugs, and tears into laughter.

There are many things I will take with me but none of them compare to the first smile my daughter granted me. It is the same smile that greets me in the morning and when I am lucky continues throughout the day until it is time to go to sleep.