How do you pick that moment?
What is it about that moment that you want to re-live again and again?
At first I thought there is no way I am going to be able to pick out just ONE moment in time. In some ways that will always hold true and yet there is always that ONE moment when time stands still and you experience so much joy that your heart overflows. That ONE moment when your life changes and everything you thought you knew about yourself and your family changes.
It only takes a second.
If you blink too fast you'll miss it.
If you think too fast it's gone.
This is ONE of those moments.
Where do you spend your holidays? Do you bounce back and forth between family and friends? Do you stay home? How is that decision made? Once you get to wherever it is you are going, are you happy to be there? For me, I can honestly say that this decision is never hard. I spend the holidays with my family and have always spent it with them. It is around my family that I am truly happy.
This past Christmas my life changed forever.
How did it change?
It started when my husband and I made the decision to adopt a child from China. At first we were hesitant to tell anyone. How would our families feel about it? Would they support us? Would they ask way too many questions in an attempt to convince us to change our decision?
We made the decision to adopt in September of 2005. We got the usual questions from friends and family. Why adoption? Why China? Isn't there another way? We answered their questions the best way we knew how and continued on our paper-chasing way.
Were they really happy for us? In my heart I knew there were lingering doubts but my heart also knew that in a village or town across the world there was a little one that we loved already, patiently waiting for us.
What does Christmas have to do with it anyway?
This past Christmas we went to my sister's home. The day began like any other day. We got up. We ate breakfast. We packed the car with too many gifts and started on our hour and a half trek. We hit the usual holiday traffic and then we were there. We exchanged hugs and kisses and hugs again. We sat down, made small talk, and watched as our nieces and nephew waited impatiently to open their gifts. We then watched as they were given the go ahead sign and the oldest, Elise, passed the gifts around. I remember just watching. There is just something so special about watching the children open their gifts. The look of surprise when they receive a gift they never expected. The sound of wrapping paper being shredded and torn away from its boxes. But most of all I remember how loved they are and how happy they looked. I safely stored that happy memory in my heart.
When the kids were done, I opened my gifts. All of the gifts were special but there was one gift that was different from all the other gifts. I received a pale yellow hand-knit baby blanket from my nieces. It felt so soft, smelled so good, and it was absolutely beautiful. It was such a sweet gift and as I expressed my thanks with more hugs and more kisses I knew right then that something had changed. My role had changed. I was no longer just the daughter, just the sister, just the aunt. I was on my way to being a mother and it felt good to be acknowledged.
After we opened the gifts, we ate too much, laughed too hard, and prepared for our annual game-time. At every family gathering there is a point where a board-game becomes the center of attention for both young and old. The game is usually a board game that has recently been opened. The game requires the competitive spirit we had as kids and usually involves a lot of banter, jokes, and game diverting comments. Whatever, it takes to win! This time my sister decided to introduce a different type of game. In the center of the living-room she placed a box. The box had the words "Box of Everything" written on it. Everything? As I looked at the box, my curiosity was tweaked and I wanted to know what the "Box of Everything" contained.
Everyone was handed a brown paper bag the size of a lunch bag. The bag was taped closed. We were instructed to pass the bag whenever we heard the words "left" or "right". My sister then began to read a story aloud and every time we heard those words the bags were passed in that direction. It reminded me of "musical chairs". Well we passed those bags, and dropped those bags, picked up those bags, and passed those bags all the while the children giggled and we waited to see what would happen. Who would win? Would we ever find out what was in the "Box of Everything"? After my sister read the words "The End" she informed us we could now open our paper bags up. "There will be one winner!" she stated with a smile. I opened my paper bag to discover that I had won! As I started to rub it in to my brothers, I hear my husband shout "I won too". My sister just shook her head in confusion and said "Well, I guess I made a mistake, you'll just have to share."
Okay, I can do this. I know how to share. Now you have to understand. I have only won one thing in my entire life, a chocolate cake in the 7th grade. A cake that I shared with my class. A cake that I never tasted because it was gone before I even had a piece. So in the spirit of Christmas and the fact that I was sharing it with my husband I agree to sit with him to open my, oops, our "Box of Everything".
We open the box together and I start to remove items from the box. First, I take out a can of soup then a granola bar. I know it’s a game so I continue. I then take out tootsie rolls. Next to come out is a dog toy. We don't own a dog but that is okay because by this point I am hysterical laughing. I am also thinking this is a ridiculous prize, a "Box of nothing", but I say nothing and continue. I then discover a plastic fork, spoon, and knife. Just when I thought I had found everything, I reach down to the bottom and see an envelope with what feels like a card. It has my name on it. It has my husband's name on it. I'm puzzled. How can that be? I thought this was a game.
It’s not clicking...
I open the envelope and I see it is a baby card...no it is an...expectant parent card and then it starts...It just happens...I can't stop...the tears have formed...they are rolling down my face.... I can't speak... I can't read thru the tears...I make out the words " A gift to help you get to China"....I'm floored...The tears are dropping on the card...on my hands...I'm frozen...I am speechless....I don't know what to say....but I continue... and in the box are more envelopes....heartfelt wishes...."We are so happy for you, we love you, we can't wait to meet your baby"...My heart is so full it feels like it is going to burst!
Every lingering doubt fades away...
In that ONE moment my life changed forever...
In that ONE moment a "Box of Nothing" became the "Box of Everything"...
In that ONE moment I became the luckiest person in the world...and I can't wait for that ONE moment when our special little someone gets to meet them all...
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2 comments:
That is a wonderful story. Really heartwarming. Thanks for sharing it.
Keep smilin!
I have tears in my eyes- that is such a special memory. You have to share that with your child one day!
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