It is never to early to learn...

Tonight I decided to do a little blog hopping. I guess I was just trying to fill the time tonight. Too distracted to get any work done, not in the mood for tv, no books in the house, and well baby on the mind...

As I was surfing I visited a blog of a mom who recently returned from China after picking up her little girl. For the past three years I have visited her blog and when she got the call I celebrated.

Her trip to pick up her daughter was a happy one. Her return…has been difficult...heartbreaking...

The last time I read her blog she was preparing for daycare. Daycare is sometimes the only option for many who are forced to work and can not either stay home or work from home.

You do the best you can to assist you child in attaching to you. You love your child the best way you know how. You try to create structure, routine, as well as to provide stability. You are working at it. It does not happen overnight, it is a process that is unique to each child. Think of it as an adult would. How do you establish trust with another? Are you easy to trust when you have been hurt? What walls would you put up? How would you handle rejection? How hard would it be for you to trust again?

Now imagine…being the little one who in his or her short little life thus far has been abandoned, displaced, and now after beginning to trust, placed in daycare. His or her life has been turned upside down yet once again.

How will our little ones communicate their feelings to us?

How will you know?

…that something is wrong?

How will we know what to do?

You can read every book, every blog, hear first experiences and yet even that may not be enough.

Tonight I read the blog of a mom who is hurting because she can not fix it. She can not take away the pain, fear, or anger of her child. She is not helpless…she is a strong woman…overwhelmed just as her child is. She and her child will heal together but it will not happen overnight.

Tonight I was reminded that it is not easy. There will be good days and bad days. Bad days that are difficult, painful, and hurt.

She also taught me a lesson I often have difficulty acknowledging. I am a “fixer” by nature, always have been, always will. But this is different, this is about a child who means more to me than I can even begin to put in words.

I need to know when it is too much for me to handle. I need to put my pride aside and ask for help if and when I need it. My child will come first and whatever it takes, however long it takes, I will be there.

Tonight I hurt for her and hope that she and her child see better days ahead. Tonight I am reminded that there is more to parenting than happy smiles and sunny days.

Please keep this family in your thoughts and prayers.